This is Coffee Club

My insane and JOLTING insatiable obsession with coffee is a sensitive issue. More particularly, the type of coffee I choose to sip (or gulp) dictates the type of mood I'm in. Likewise, coffee has the power to turn me up and turn me down depending on the size or the flavor. I would even venture to say that coffee is my, for all intents and purposes of the word, Viagara - it gives me energy to stay the long course and if I don't have it often, I start to bite my fingernails. The following is a list of the coffee drinks and their associated moods. Mind you, these are from my experience and should only be tried at your own risk (or not) depending on your level of boredom:

If I'm drinking...

1) DECAF coffee drink: It's definitely after 6pm in the evening and I know I'm not getting laid later on.
2) BLACK coffee: I don't want to be bothered by anyone or anything perhaps because I've woken up drunk or with a relentless hangover.
3) VANILLA LATTE: I've gotta have a sweet drink while window-shopping in Los Angeles. It gets me in the mood to spend money.
4) ICED VANILLA LATTE: Same as 3, but I'm shopping outdoors and in the heat.
5) ANGELINO: More often when I get this drink, I'm in the mood to be hip (most likely I'm sporting a super-wide V-neck or a fedora).
6) SINGLE-SHOT ESPRESSO: Usually consumed after a meal. Maybe a meal on a date. A date looking to end with a 'good morning' - which in my world, as of late, does NOT exist...'le sigh' as my friend Tams would say.
7) HONEY VANILLA LATTE: Too sweet. Too too sweet. You'll usually find me with this drink when I'm close to an Urth Cafe (most likely the one across from Barker Block).
8) FRAPUCCINO: You'll never find me with this drink.

Not one for the dramatic but DANG!